If you know me in real life, you know I'm great at one and avoid the other like it's a rabid dog. I have one of the most risk-averse personalities I know... which makes me great at my job and terrible at life sometimes. But, every once in a while - like a caterpillar going hey, life might be awesome if I could FLY instead of CRAWL - I'm ready to take a leap. And then I am decisive af.
This is one of those times. I was in a bit of a spin a few weeks ago, stressed about work, worrying about the timing of the move, getting a job - how to juggle all these delicate little snowglobes. I can't stay in this cocoon of a job any more, as much as I love it. And holding on to this apartment at the month to month rent just doesn't make any sense. So we made the decision to give notice; we have to be out by Jan 5. Giving ourselves a deadline made quite a few things crystal clear. Also? I LOVE DEADLINES. So hard.
So then, work. This is a very very busy time; when I came back from vacation I was gung-ho about applying for jobs but I quickly realized that if I wasn't 100% focused on making it through the end of the year and planning for next year, I might not even have this job. So I spent 3 weeks getting everything at work in order; fixing all the mayhem that happened while I was on vacation, getting the ball rolling on 2016, getting a bunch of things unstuck for my team.
And then I felt it - the loosening of the cocoon. I was on my treadmill when I had this aha moment: there is less risk in talking to my boss about this change than there is trying to hide it. Also, given my role, I'd be a giant ahole for leaving with 2 weeks notice. And this thing I've built at work - this team, this mission we have - I of course want it to be successful after I leave. The best thing for my company, and for me, would be a collaborative transition. I had already told the two people I work most closely with but it was clearly time to involve my boss and hope she appreciated the approach.
I gut-checked my decision with my very close friend and coworker. She and I have known each other for 14 years and worked together at multiple companies. She instantly agreed - of course I should involve my boss! She knows her well and thought it was a great idea. As an independent consultant, my boss is actually my direct client; we've had a few different professional relationships and some ups and downs, but we are both good people whose primary goal is to do the best thing for the company. My friend and I talked through it on our hike and I pitched her my transition idea and she loved it. Up next: talking to my husband.
He freaked out. "What if she fires you?" he said. :( Not what I wanted to hear, but a fair question. Practical for a number of reasons, and touches on that risk-averse nerve we both have. I explained my reasoning to him and walked him through it. He settled down, and then hugged me and apologized for scaring the crap out of me with his question. I definitely want my husband's support on something this scary and big, and I had it after two conversations where we - big nerds that we are - looked at each point from three angles and concluded my initial assessment was correct. It was actually less risky to tell her than to try to do all this, juggling the timing and finding a job, in secret. Plus, again, total jerk move to only give 2 weeks notice on a role it took them years to find someone for to begin with.
So I emailed my boss client - who I rarely see in person - and let her know we should talk Monday morning. My friend also texted her and let her know to make sure to make time for a face to face with me. Then I sat up and outlined my proposed three-part transition plan on a powerpoint slide. Yes, I'm a nerd. But this is also how we communicate, since she is a former consultant as well. Also, once I make a decision, I'm ready to move on it. I had my husband and my friend proof-read the slide, and they loved the format and the plan. I stuck it in one of my trademark pink and gold folders and I was ready to roll.
Here is the gist of it - I will spare you the sub-bullets etc, but trust me, they were awesome:
1) Prep - she starts recruiting my replacement; I get everything in my area closed out this year and ready for 2016
2) Training - I start training my replacement and I prepare to move into a different role to help us meet a regulatory deadline we have for the end of Q1 2016.
3) Transition and close: I move at the end of December and work remotely, full time or part time as the transition and new role is required in Q1. I would travel back a few times as needed. By the end of Q1 I completely transition out
For them, this gives them time to hire the right replacement, not just finding someone to make do in an emergency. They've wanted someone permanent in my role and that hadn't been my goal, so this frees them up to find the right long-term person. It gives the company and myself the opportunity to move forward respectfully and transparently, and do the right thing for both parties. I get to walk away from a job that I loved, from people I loved working with, knowing I did the right thing to help set them up to be successful in a future without me. It also gives me the freedom to look for my next position while I'm there in Portland, vs remotely, while still making money to help support my family. No secrets, no hard feelings, and we all get to walk away with our happy memories.
The conversation went really well. It was one of the best conversations she and I had ever had. She was very happy for me personally; I explained what Portland meant to me and to my husband and she is so excited for our future. Professionally, she very much appreciated the transition approach and was so happy I hadn't just abandoned them. It was great. We talked through our hopes for the role and the program; we talked about how our relationship had evolved and some things we had been through; I felt a great sense of closure. I also took responsibility for some mis-steps, and she did as well. Her support of my decision - both to leave, and how I wanted to handle leaving - gave my that last little bit of validation I needed to know this was right. I knew it in my heart, and I was glad my head caught up to knowing how to make it happen. Maintaining professional and personal relationships is incredibly important, and handling decisions and communications responsibly and authentically, and trusting your gut, are the best way to do it.
The move is still scary. Knowing I need to find another job in Q1 is scary. But I am ready to shake off my new wings and fly and trust the wind and my own strength and instincts to keep me afloat.
No comments:
Post a Comment