Dallas is amazing and wonderful and has a lot to offer....but there are a few layers of this city that are less than awesome. (I say Dallas, but I mean both the city proper and usually the metroplex in general.) When we started thinking about a big move, we realized there are some things we will not miss AT ALL about living here:
1) The terrible coffee shops - most of the top-rated coffee shops in Dallas have execrable coffee. Terrible. I think Dallas natives don't actually know good coffee, as most coffee is fairly weak. The coffee shops people rave about usually have some flavor for a change, which tricks residents into thinking it's good. It's not good coffee. That flavor is boiled ass. The beans are too green or they are over roasted (ahem, Ascension). Another popular local coffee chain has the 'best lattes' in Dallas. You know why they are so good? They use full cream in the lattes instead of milk. (I'm looking at you, Pearl Cup.) Many of the popular coffee shops are popular because they have music or serve sandwiches. It's a pretty low bar for coffee when you can have a 'great' coffee shop because there's live music and snacks.
2) Klyde Warren Park - I have mixed feelings about Klyde Warren Park but let me tell you, I will not miss it. It is NOT a park. There are 2 strips of grass that are constantly being fixed because a) the soil they put in sucks b) this is Texas c) Dog Pee d) everyone wants to play on the fragile grass and it just doesn't work out. If you think it's supposed to be a park, you'll be pissed off when you go there. If you think of it as a food truck place with some tables and a really nice kid's area, you'll be happy. It's a cute space. There's a pavilion type thing for music, there's food truck, there are cute water features kids like to splash around in, there is an awesome playground set back from the street and food trucks, there's a cute book/game area with lots of books and games and a hot dog cart, there are fancy-ish restaurants where you can sit and people watch. Those are all nice things! They do not, however, make a park.I seriously want to grind my teeth when people call it a great park. The free yoga classes are a cute idea but guess where they are held? Yup. On the grass. Which is either full of dog pee or closed. The location is nice, right across from the Dallas Museum of Art and close-ish to the Perot museum, so a lot of field trips end up there, jacking up the food trucks. On the few nice days a year where being outside in the Dallas weather isn't literal torture, you can wait 40 minutes in line at your favorite food truck to eat at a tiny metal table in tiny metal chairs with no misters or heaters to help manage the temperature. But the food trucks really are good
3) Traffic - No joke, the traffic is ridiculous. There are accidents everywhere, all the time. You have to take 3 freeways to get out of Downtown to anywhere useful. The interchanges are always tiny and backed up. There is traffic on freeways, like 75, at almost any time of day and FOR NO REASON. Just slow. And on the Tollway, which used to be this amazing open speedway, there are now not enough lanes to handle the traffic to and from the suburbs and it's just painful. So painful. The worst part? You get casual drivers on these commuter freeways who don't know to stay right and who slow down on curves. THEY SLOW DOWN ON CURVES. These aren't switchbacks, it's like a gentle curve in the road and these filthy casuals slow down from MAYBE going 70 to 50, 55 on a curve. I just can't. Feeder freeways are often inexplicably closed or under construction for 7 years, making driving around DFW a total surprise adventure where you may be driving through 3 extra cities just to get from a to b.
4) Overhyped restaurants I'm worried this will happen in Portland, too. Your friends will rave about a place for months, even years. You will finally make it to this special eatery, dealing with Dallas traffic and a tiny parking lot (this is a driving city; very little public transport; WHY ISN'T THERE MORE PARKING?!) or a disinterested valet who adds little efficiency to the process only to have to wait for a table in a restaurant ill-equipped for waiting patrons and then get indifferently prepared food that is almost good. At least, that's what happened when we went to Bolsa. When we asked our friends why they rave about Bolsa they responded 'well it used to be good, it's really fallen down lately'. This is a common response. So then we ask if they still go there. Yes! We love it! They say. Side-eye.
5) Valet - Why are they valets so bad here? This is a city with a ton of money, nice cars, big tippers, and valets act like they don't remember their entire job is to take away cars and bring them back. I cannot even tell you how many times we have been ignored by valets. And we have nice cars! And we are nice TO the valets! It's very strange. And it takes forever. I'd rather park far away and walk, tbh.
6) Heat - If you don't live here, you literally cannot imagine. It's oppressive. You start sweating 2 minutes after you step outside. It is NOT a dry heat. Dallas may not be as humid as Houston or Florida but trust me, if you're from CA or Nevada, you will think you are being slapped in the face with an oven wrapped in a clothes steamer. You will get heat rashes and heat stroke. You can't enjoy Taste of Dallas in the summer because you cannot eat with it is 105 outside and the food is hot too. You want to eat and drink on the super cute restaurant patios but you know there are not enough misters in the world to make it bearable. You will want to hike around White Rock Lake on a beautiful summer day but you have to be done by 10am because then God turns on the big Texas heat lamp of death and you have to run inside before your skin fries and your face melts off. Also, makeup? You will have 10,000 tricks to get your makeup to stay on all day at work and they will be marginally successful 67% of the time and they will ruin your skin. Did I mention it's hot?
7) Plastic Surgery - Try not to stare. It's not just boobs and lipo. You will see some weird, weird things here on people's faces, especially in certain neighborhoods of Dallas itself and, to a lesser extent, specific suburbs (Southlake, Plano). Puffy lips. Carved faces. Faces oddly stretched and elongated. Lots and lots of shiny botox. You will really wonder what look they were going for - alien sex cat seems to be popular
8) Conservatives - And boy, are they loud and obnoxious about it. And judgey. Either be prepared to argue a lot or do what I did after a few years, which is to shut down completely and just never talk to people about anything that matters. Your sanity will thank you.
9) Sexism - I think I covered this in an earlier blog post so let me just give one recent example that REALLY shows you what I mean: We had moving companies come give us full-service move estimates. My husband and I were both home. I tend to be the decision maker in our marriage and my husband was on a call so I was talking to the very nice moving company gentleman about which things were going and some additional details. My husband gets off his work call and walks into the living room and the moving estimator literally stops talking to me mid-sentence and then addresses every question and remark to my husband from then until he left
10) SUVs and Trucks Everywhere - Most families have at least 1 SUV or Truck. This is true even if they don't have kids and live in an apartment in the middle of the city. Go to any parking lot in the metroplex and it will be 70% trucks and SUVs. Let me repeat - this includes people who have no functional requirement for a large vehicle. People who don't have houses, or don't work on their houses, or have farms, or kids, have large vehicles just in case they need to haul stuff around. Texas is very much into doing things yourself or always being able to haul things around, so you need to be prepared at all times to do these things even if you outsource all your house services and have nothing to haul around and get everything delivered. This is an actual thing. We went to Portland and then Europe and saw people living the exact same lives with tiny vehicles and getting along just fine. In fact, in Portland people were hauling around sports equipment and recreational gear strapped to their tiny cars!! And it worked! Wtf, Texas?
Friday, November 27, 2015
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
Things that are different - Portland vs Dallas housing
I wanted to jot down some things that were glaringly different about Portland housing from Dallas housing:
1) Price per square foot is WAY higher in PDX!
2) Related: People seem to be used to smaller overall housing and smaller rooms. Lots of comments about 'large rooms' and 'large apartments' on things we would have struggled to fit in
3) Why are there so many washers and dryers in bathrooms in apartments? Why is that a thing?!
4) Closets are not apparently popular in Portland. I'm confused about this, since I keep thinking there is more cold weather gear/bulkier storage requirements. Where are all the winter coats, boots, etc going? WHERE?!
5) Parking is a privilege, not a right. NOT A RIGHT.
6) Finishes - luxury finishes were more the exception than the rule
7) Walls are not expecting lots of big screen TVs to be mounted to them
8) Covered parking is not a right or a privilege, but is more similar to a unicorn
9) There are more expectations of beer in apartment buildings
10) Bike parking is a right. In fact, bike repair services IN apartment buildings is a right too.
11) Two bathrooms are a luxury. Who needs bathrooms? Just ride around on your bike wearing all your clothes
12) AC is not common. Also unicorn
13) Pantries are like....dragons. Rare and scary.
14) Cabinet space - also a unicorn
15) But ALL rentals had washers and dryers. Like ALL of them. Dallas does not do that, W/D in rentals is less common
16) The application process was pretty rigorous. Lots of forms, actually calling former landlords and employers, background checks. Crazy!
17) NO CATS. You have a cat? Buy a house. Dogs may be considered. But cats are of the devil and you cannot rent anything ever. Want your cat to be considered? Extra $1k please. Then we will talk
I sound snarky, because our search was for a 2 bedroom 2 bath rental house that allowed cats and had AC and a large chef kitchen with modern appliances and high end finishes and a garage.
Soooooo our first few weeks of searching was a bit of an adjustment for us :)
We did finally find a place that was ok with our cats, with a large deposit, but no AC or garage and no real pantry or cabinet space. But it's perfect, and we love it, and we love Portland, and we knew it would be an adjustment so we are ready for this! I'm glad we visited, the nice AirBNB we stayed in really prepared us for some of the differences. But still.... such an adjustment!
1) Price per square foot is WAY higher in PDX!
2) Related: People seem to be used to smaller overall housing and smaller rooms. Lots of comments about 'large rooms' and 'large apartments' on things we would have struggled to fit in
3) Why are there so many washers and dryers in bathrooms in apartments? Why is that a thing?!
4) Closets are not apparently popular in Portland. I'm confused about this, since I keep thinking there is more cold weather gear/bulkier storage requirements. Where are all the winter coats, boots, etc going? WHERE?!
5) Parking is a privilege, not a right. NOT A RIGHT.
6) Finishes - luxury finishes were more the exception than the rule
7) Walls are not expecting lots of big screen TVs to be mounted to them
8) Covered parking is not a right or a privilege, but is more similar to a unicorn
9) There are more expectations of beer in apartment buildings
10) Bike parking is a right. In fact, bike repair services IN apartment buildings is a right too.
11) Two bathrooms are a luxury. Who needs bathrooms? Just ride around on your bike wearing all your clothes
12) AC is not common. Also unicorn
13) Pantries are like....dragons. Rare and scary.
14) Cabinet space - also a unicorn
15) But ALL rentals had washers and dryers. Like ALL of them. Dallas does not do that, W/D in rentals is less common
16) The application process was pretty rigorous. Lots of forms, actually calling former landlords and employers, background checks. Crazy!
17) NO CATS. You have a cat? Buy a house. Dogs may be considered. But cats are of the devil and you cannot rent anything ever. Want your cat to be considered? Extra $1k please. Then we will talk
I sound snarky, because our search was for a 2 bedroom 2 bath rental house that allowed cats and had AC and a large chef kitchen with modern appliances and high end finishes and a garage.
Soooooo our first few weeks of searching was a bit of an adjustment for us :)
We did finally find a place that was ok with our cats, with a large deposit, but no AC or garage and no real pantry or cabinet space. But it's perfect, and we love it, and we love Portland, and we knew it would be an adjustment so we are ready for this! I'm glad we visited, the nice AirBNB we stayed in really prepared us for some of the differences. But still.... such an adjustment!
The Housing Situation
Let me just start by saying we knew the housing situation would be different in Portland. I mean, we've watched both Grimm AND Portlandia, so we thought we knew what we were getting into. Victorians, Craftsmans, funky little houses with personality - sign us up!
One thing we didn't consider is that the forces of television and the California drought had conspired to suddenly turn Portland into a relocation hotspot. For the last year or two, out of state buyers with deep pockets have been flocking to Portland. According to one realtor we called, Portland is the cheapest major city on the West Coast and basically everyone wants to live there.
Yaaaaay! So we are not exactly on the tail end of the trend, more like right smack dab in the middle of it and totally affected by it. We've now read a ton of articles about how home prices are being driven up like crazy, locals are angry and hate it, etc. People from CA and Seattle are flocking in. New apartment buildings are being built pretty much constantly and as of yet are not able to keep up with the housing demand. It's kind of like when we sold our house in Frisco last year and the housing market was blowing up and it was a madhouse.
All rentals are going quickly. We aren't ready to buy - we want to spend a year there getting settled first - and now I'm worried about how much it will cost when we are ready to buy. We were going back and forth about house rental vs apt; I wanted a house, a charming little antique with character. My husband wanted another year of no maintenance pampering and would have loved another high rise apartment like we are in now. We looked all over and determined that to get the quality and relative location of our current apartment but in Portland would cost us approximately 50% more and even then, we would really not get the same quality. We looked at some nice places but everything is much smaller in Portland, with less storage, and some places only had parking for 1 car! We quickly realized that everything is, in fact, different in Portland.
We can't sell either of our cars right now, which is kind of funny because we want the walkable lifestyle which means we don't really need two cars, but can't unload one yet. So we increased our budget slightly and, after looking at a ton of townhomes, apartments, condos, and houses, and eliminating quite a few from our housing matrix (of course we have a housing matrix, in excel, with weighted categories), we had an uh-oh moment. It's like an ah-ha moment but less fun. Uh-oh, we said. It's time to decide what we can compromise on (price, size, location). Do we want the size we want, in the location that's ideal (Pearl), but totally blows our budget? Do we want to sacrifice size, but get closer to price in ideal location (Pearl)? I told my husband I would do either for him, since he really wanted to live there. It could be fun! Personally, I was feeling done with apartments, but would do it another year for him to get the location he wanted.
The next day, as if by magic, my husband found the perfect house rental. I can't even tell you. A restored 1906 Craftsman style house with hardwood floors throughout. It has tons of character, a cute yard, and it's in a neighborhood with tons of walkable restaurants and coffee shops. There are parks and a huge cemetery!! It is LITERALLY my dream house. I flipped out when I saw it. We sent in a few questions, filled out the applications (a process far more arduous in Portland than in Dallas, btw), and BAM! We found out today we got the house!! It has 3 bedrooms so we can have separate offices, and the 2 bathrooms that were a MUST HAVE for us. SO happy!! Today we are giving thanks that our plan is starting to come together - we have a place to live!!! Now we just need to finalize the movers....
One thing we didn't consider is that the forces of television and the California drought had conspired to suddenly turn Portland into a relocation hotspot. For the last year or two, out of state buyers with deep pockets have been flocking to Portland. According to one realtor we called, Portland is the cheapest major city on the West Coast and basically everyone wants to live there.
Yaaaaay! So we are not exactly on the tail end of the trend, more like right smack dab in the middle of it and totally affected by it. We've now read a ton of articles about how home prices are being driven up like crazy, locals are angry and hate it, etc. People from CA and Seattle are flocking in. New apartment buildings are being built pretty much constantly and as of yet are not able to keep up with the housing demand. It's kind of like when we sold our house in Frisco last year and the housing market was blowing up and it was a madhouse.
All rentals are going quickly. We aren't ready to buy - we want to spend a year there getting settled first - and now I'm worried about how much it will cost when we are ready to buy. We were going back and forth about house rental vs apt; I wanted a house, a charming little antique with character. My husband wanted another year of no maintenance pampering and would have loved another high rise apartment like we are in now. We looked all over and determined that to get the quality and relative location of our current apartment but in Portland would cost us approximately 50% more and even then, we would really not get the same quality. We looked at some nice places but everything is much smaller in Portland, with less storage, and some places only had parking for 1 car! We quickly realized that everything is, in fact, different in Portland.
We can't sell either of our cars right now, which is kind of funny because we want the walkable lifestyle which means we don't really need two cars, but can't unload one yet. So we increased our budget slightly and, after looking at a ton of townhomes, apartments, condos, and houses, and eliminating quite a few from our housing matrix (of course we have a housing matrix, in excel, with weighted categories), we had an uh-oh moment. It's like an ah-ha moment but less fun. Uh-oh, we said. It's time to decide what we can compromise on (price, size, location). Do we want the size we want, in the location that's ideal (Pearl), but totally blows our budget? Do we want to sacrifice size, but get closer to price in ideal location (Pearl)? I told my husband I would do either for him, since he really wanted to live there. It could be fun! Personally, I was feeling done with apartments, but would do it another year for him to get the location he wanted.
The next day, as if by magic, my husband found the perfect house rental. I can't even tell you. A restored 1906 Craftsman style house with hardwood floors throughout. It has tons of character, a cute yard, and it's in a neighborhood with tons of walkable restaurants and coffee shops. There are parks and a huge cemetery!! It is LITERALLY my dream house. I flipped out when I saw it. We sent in a few questions, filled out the applications (a process far more arduous in Portland than in Dallas, btw), and BAM! We found out today we got the house!! It has 3 bedrooms so we can have separate offices, and the 2 bathrooms that were a MUST HAVE for us. SO happy!! Today we are giving thanks that our plan is starting to come together - we have a place to live!!! Now we just need to finalize the movers....
Sunday, November 22, 2015
Making Decisions and Taking Risks
If you know me in real life, you know I'm great at one and avoid the other like it's a rabid dog. I have one of the most risk-averse personalities I know... which makes me great at my job and terrible at life sometimes. But, every once in a while - like a caterpillar going hey, life might be awesome if I could FLY instead of CRAWL - I'm ready to take a leap. And then I am decisive af.
This is one of those times. I was in a bit of a spin a few weeks ago, stressed about work, worrying about the timing of the move, getting a job - how to juggle all these delicate little snowglobes. I can't stay in this cocoon of a job any more, as much as I love it. And holding on to this apartment at the month to month rent just doesn't make any sense. So we made the decision to give notice; we have to be out by Jan 5. Giving ourselves a deadline made quite a few things crystal clear. Also? I LOVE DEADLINES. So hard.
So then, work. This is a very very busy time; when I came back from vacation I was gung-ho about applying for jobs but I quickly realized that if I wasn't 100% focused on making it through the end of the year and planning for next year, I might not even have this job. So I spent 3 weeks getting everything at work in order; fixing all the mayhem that happened while I was on vacation, getting the ball rolling on 2016, getting a bunch of things unstuck for my team.
And then I felt it - the loosening of the cocoon. I was on my treadmill when I had this aha moment: there is less risk in talking to my boss about this change than there is trying to hide it. Also, given my role, I'd be a giant ahole for leaving with 2 weeks notice. And this thing I've built at work - this team, this mission we have - I of course want it to be successful after I leave. The best thing for my company, and for me, would be a collaborative transition. I had already told the two people I work most closely with but it was clearly time to involve my boss and hope she appreciated the approach.
I gut-checked my decision with my very close friend and coworker. She and I have known each other for 14 years and worked together at multiple companies. She instantly agreed - of course I should involve my boss! She knows her well and thought it was a great idea. As an independent consultant, my boss is actually my direct client; we've had a few different professional relationships and some ups and downs, but we are both good people whose primary goal is to do the best thing for the company. My friend and I talked through it on our hike and I pitched her my transition idea and she loved it. Up next: talking to my husband.
He freaked out. "What if she fires you?" he said. :( Not what I wanted to hear, but a fair question. Practical for a number of reasons, and touches on that risk-averse nerve we both have. I explained my reasoning to him and walked him through it. He settled down, and then hugged me and apologized for scaring the crap out of me with his question. I definitely want my husband's support on something this scary and big, and I had it after two conversations where we - big nerds that we are - looked at each point from three angles and concluded my initial assessment was correct. It was actually less risky to tell her than to try to do all this, juggling the timing and finding a job, in secret. Plus, again, total jerk move to only give 2 weeks notice on a role it took them years to find someone for to begin with.
So I emailed my boss client - who I rarely see in person - and let her know we should talk Monday morning. My friend also texted her and let her know to make sure to make time for a face to face with me. Then I sat up and outlined my proposed three-part transition plan on a powerpoint slide. Yes, I'm a nerd. But this is also how we communicate, since she is a former consultant as well. Also, once I make a decision, I'm ready to move on it. I had my husband and my friend proof-read the slide, and they loved the format and the plan. I stuck it in one of my trademark pink and gold folders and I was ready to roll.
Here is the gist of it - I will spare you the sub-bullets etc, but trust me, they were awesome:
1) Prep - she starts recruiting my replacement; I get everything in my area closed out this year and ready for 2016
2) Training - I start training my replacement and I prepare to move into a different role to help us meet a regulatory deadline we have for the end of Q1 2016.
3) Transition and close: I move at the end of December and work remotely, full time or part time as the transition and new role is required in Q1. I would travel back a few times as needed. By the end of Q1 I completely transition out
For them, this gives them time to hire the right replacement, not just finding someone to make do in an emergency. They've wanted someone permanent in my role and that hadn't been my goal, so this frees them up to find the right long-term person. It gives the company and myself the opportunity to move forward respectfully and transparently, and do the right thing for both parties. I get to walk away from a job that I loved, from people I loved working with, knowing I did the right thing to help set them up to be successful in a future without me. It also gives me the freedom to look for my next position while I'm there in Portland, vs remotely, while still making money to help support my family. No secrets, no hard feelings, and we all get to walk away with our happy memories.
The conversation went really well. It was one of the best conversations she and I had ever had. She was very happy for me personally; I explained what Portland meant to me and to my husband and she is so excited for our future. Professionally, she very much appreciated the transition approach and was so happy I hadn't just abandoned them. It was great. We talked through our hopes for the role and the program; we talked about how our relationship had evolved and some things we had been through; I felt a great sense of closure. I also took responsibility for some mis-steps, and she did as well. Her support of my decision - both to leave, and how I wanted to handle leaving - gave my that last little bit of validation I needed to know this was right. I knew it in my heart, and I was glad my head caught up to knowing how to make it happen. Maintaining professional and personal relationships is incredibly important, and handling decisions and communications responsibly and authentically, and trusting your gut, are the best way to do it.
The move is still scary. Knowing I need to find another job in Q1 is scary. But I am ready to shake off my new wings and fly and trust the wind and my own strength and instincts to keep me afloat.
This is one of those times. I was in a bit of a spin a few weeks ago, stressed about work, worrying about the timing of the move, getting a job - how to juggle all these delicate little snowglobes. I can't stay in this cocoon of a job any more, as much as I love it. And holding on to this apartment at the month to month rent just doesn't make any sense. So we made the decision to give notice; we have to be out by Jan 5. Giving ourselves a deadline made quite a few things crystal clear. Also? I LOVE DEADLINES. So hard.
So then, work. This is a very very busy time; when I came back from vacation I was gung-ho about applying for jobs but I quickly realized that if I wasn't 100% focused on making it through the end of the year and planning for next year, I might not even have this job. So I spent 3 weeks getting everything at work in order; fixing all the mayhem that happened while I was on vacation, getting the ball rolling on 2016, getting a bunch of things unstuck for my team.
And then I felt it - the loosening of the cocoon. I was on my treadmill when I had this aha moment: there is less risk in talking to my boss about this change than there is trying to hide it. Also, given my role, I'd be a giant ahole for leaving with 2 weeks notice. And this thing I've built at work - this team, this mission we have - I of course want it to be successful after I leave. The best thing for my company, and for me, would be a collaborative transition. I had already told the two people I work most closely with but it was clearly time to involve my boss and hope she appreciated the approach.
I gut-checked my decision with my very close friend and coworker. She and I have known each other for 14 years and worked together at multiple companies. She instantly agreed - of course I should involve my boss! She knows her well and thought it was a great idea. As an independent consultant, my boss is actually my direct client; we've had a few different professional relationships and some ups and downs, but we are both good people whose primary goal is to do the best thing for the company. My friend and I talked through it on our hike and I pitched her my transition idea and she loved it. Up next: talking to my husband.
He freaked out. "What if she fires you?" he said. :( Not what I wanted to hear, but a fair question. Practical for a number of reasons, and touches on that risk-averse nerve we both have. I explained my reasoning to him and walked him through it. He settled down, and then hugged me and apologized for scaring the crap out of me with his question. I definitely want my husband's support on something this scary and big, and I had it after two conversations where we - big nerds that we are - looked at each point from three angles and concluded my initial assessment was correct. It was actually less risky to tell her than to try to do all this, juggling the timing and finding a job, in secret. Plus, again, total jerk move to only give 2 weeks notice on a role it took them years to find someone for to begin with.
So I emailed my boss client - who I rarely see in person - and let her know we should talk Monday morning. My friend also texted her and let her know to make sure to make time for a face to face with me. Then I sat up and outlined my proposed three-part transition plan on a powerpoint slide. Yes, I'm a nerd. But this is also how we communicate, since she is a former consultant as well. Also, once I make a decision, I'm ready to move on it. I had my husband and my friend proof-read the slide, and they loved the format and the plan. I stuck it in one of my trademark pink and gold folders and I was ready to roll.
Here is the gist of it - I will spare you the sub-bullets etc, but trust me, they were awesome:
1) Prep - she starts recruiting my replacement; I get everything in my area closed out this year and ready for 2016
2) Training - I start training my replacement and I prepare to move into a different role to help us meet a regulatory deadline we have for the end of Q1 2016.
3) Transition and close: I move at the end of December and work remotely, full time or part time as the transition and new role is required in Q1. I would travel back a few times as needed. By the end of Q1 I completely transition out
For them, this gives them time to hire the right replacement, not just finding someone to make do in an emergency. They've wanted someone permanent in my role and that hadn't been my goal, so this frees them up to find the right long-term person. It gives the company and myself the opportunity to move forward respectfully and transparently, and do the right thing for both parties. I get to walk away from a job that I loved, from people I loved working with, knowing I did the right thing to help set them up to be successful in a future without me. It also gives me the freedom to look for my next position while I'm there in Portland, vs remotely, while still making money to help support my family. No secrets, no hard feelings, and we all get to walk away with our happy memories.
The conversation went really well. It was one of the best conversations she and I had ever had. She was very happy for me personally; I explained what Portland meant to me and to my husband and she is so excited for our future. Professionally, she very much appreciated the transition approach and was so happy I hadn't just abandoned them. It was great. We talked through our hopes for the role and the program; we talked about how our relationship had evolved and some things we had been through; I felt a great sense of closure. I also took responsibility for some mis-steps, and she did as well. Her support of my decision - both to leave, and how I wanted to handle leaving - gave my that last little bit of validation I needed to know this was right. I knew it in my heart, and I was glad my head caught up to knowing how to make it happen. Maintaining professional and personal relationships is incredibly important, and handling decisions and communications responsibly and authentically, and trusting your gut, are the best way to do it.
The move is still scary. Knowing I need to find another job in Q1 is scary. But I am ready to shake off my new wings and fly and trust the wind and my own strength and instincts to keep me afloat.
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
This part is hard...
Total first world problem but... I miss Vegas! My husband and I LOVE Las Vegas. We usually go 4+ times every year. We gamble, we eat, we walk, we talk, we make fun of the tourists and the cost of food, we rank the buffets (based on a completely arbitrary scale of Way Worse than the Wynn, Worse than the Wynn, almost as good as the Wynn, and Oh My Gosh This Might be Better than the Wynn).
Interestingly, Vegas is one of the few places where we BOTH relax. We are out constantly, which he loves. We are constantly doing things, which I love. We stay up late, we lose track of time, we gamble, we don't worry about money because we consider it entertainment cost, work mostly leaves us alone, we usually win enough to keep losing... ahhh, Vegas.
We have platinum status at the M-Life casinos - MGM Grand, Bellagio, Aria, etc. This year was a little different; the points get locked in in September, and that is your status for the rest of the year. Your status also sets the level of how quickly you earn points. One of our favorite perks is all the cutting in line you can do with platinum status, since we hate standing around for any reason when there is gambling to be done. Taxi! Head of the line. Buffet! Head of the line. You get the gist. Anyway, this year we didn't do our usual Aug/Sept point frenzy trip to hit platinum status. We had enough for gold for the following year, and we had our big birthday trip coming up so we decided not to do it. You may call this cheating, but.... we still have our platinum cards, which means we can still cut in line. I call that a win-win! And no matter how much we love Vegas, Europe > Vegas by like a lot.
But now here we are - back from our big trip for over a month, a move looming in the near distance, and it would be ridiculously foolish to spend the time and money on a Vegas trip. Foolish!! But I'm starting to get that itch, that go to Vegas itch... What to do? If I tell my hubby I'm worried he'll talk me into doing it!!
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